#31daysofhorror 2023 wrap - Ghost in the Magazine

We’ve survived another 31 days of horror! Here are some of our statistics & recommendations from our hosts.

Movie recommendations by C.H.U.D. rating

We (mostly) endorse these movies:

We (mostly) recommend these movies:

This movie was a weird good time:

These movies were aight:

One Dark Night (1982) — It was tepid. Aight though.
Castle Freak (1995) — Could be less crusty nutsack in your face.
Last House on the Left (2009) — This is a well-made trauma thriller with an explicit depiction of rape & it is not a good time.
Jeepers Creepers (2014) — Apparently the director is a convicted pedophile which makes some of the plot points in the series incredibly fucking yikes. Proceed with caution.
Hell House LLC 2 (2018) — Honestly, just watch the first one.

These movies just didn’t land:

Deadly Blessing (1984) — Moar like Mess Craven…
C.H.U.D. 2: Bud the C.H.U.D. — This isn’t a C.H.U.D. movie & we’re not sure why they decided to brand it as such.
Nightbreed (1990) — Girl, he’s not the love of your life, he’s just a man, let him suicide by cops.
The Babadook (2014) — He may be a queer icon but I have a blanket & I’m not scared.
They’re Outside (2020) — Your man is more aggressively British than Vessel but nobody is behind me in a bar yelling “Impregnate me!” at this weird bitch.

Heh heh heh:

Silent Madness (1984) — The killer is doing murders because he got spanked by a sorority girl once. What?
Flesheater (1988) — Two titties, one tone.
Two Evil Eyes (1990) — Worst than Argento’s Dracula because nobody turns into a praying mantis.
1408 (2007) — I wanted Mike Einslin to die.
Mother’s Day (2010) — The fact that anyone thought they were getting out alive was cute at first but it was fucking annoying & boring after about 15 minutes.
Butterfly Kisses (2017) — Main character is an American version of “They’re Outside” man. He’s just as greasy with none of the stupid accent.
Case 347 (2020) — If someone developed out the most boring parts of several Coast to Coast AM episodes.

These movies suck:

14 Cameras (2018) — That battletoad mouth-breathing jacked grandpa definitely had a sticky keyboard.
Portal (2020) — PEE ON THE SPOOKY STONE

Jail forever:

The Farm (2018) — This is going to get me in trouble but after reading Taltos, I believe that Anne Rice may have been into the milking stuff. RIP queen.